Do Men Wear Engagement Rings? The Guide to the Tradition and the Trend
Yes, men wear engagement rings, and more of them are choosing to. In the UK it isn’t yet the default, but it is a growing trend, and there is no rule that says only one half of a couple should wear a ring after the proposal. This guide explains where the tradition comes from, why many men don’t wear one, and how to choose a ring if you want to.
Why some men wear engagement rings
An engagement ring might be the first ring you’ve ever owned, or it might sit alongside jewellery you already wear. You might enjoy having a ring to show friends when you tell them you’re engaged. Or you might want a detail that’s just for you, such as the date engraved inside the band.
One answer to ‘Why don’t men wear engagement rings?’ comes from a familiar UK custom. A man would give his partner an engagement ring when he proposed and start wearing his own ring at the wedding. Some men choose to wait because they’d like the first ring they wear to mark the ceremony. Daily habits can matter just as much. If you work with your hands or tend to save jewellery for special occasions, you might wear an engagement ring for evenings out.
A ring that’s been in your family for years can take on a new meaning when you get engaged. If you’d like to wear it regularly, ask a jeweller to check the band, fit and any stones.
If you’re giving him a family ring, tell him who wore it and why you’d like him to have it. If you have a photograph of the person wearing it, you could share it when you give him the ring. If you’d like to engrave your engagement date, ask how it could sit alongside any lettering that’s already there.
When do men get engagement rings?
A man can get an engagement ring when his partner proposes or choose one with them afterwards. If you’re planning a surprise for him, it can help to talk about wearing rings while keeping the date and place of the proposal to yourself. A ring he already wears on the finger you have in mind can give you a starting point for his size.
If he’d prefer to pick his own ring, you could give him a handwritten note when you ask him to marry you. Tell him you’d like to choose the ring with him. The note gives him something to keep from the proposal, and the two of you can take your time trying on rings together.
When both rings are ready, decide how you’d like to exchange them and when you’ll start wearing them. Some couples put their rings on when they collect them. Others save the exchange for a quiet evening together or for the day they share the news with their families.
Couples looking at his and hers engagement rings might start with a detail they’d both like. A plain band and a diamond ring can look connected when they share the same colour of gold. Matching engagement rings can also share an engraving, such as a place or a few words that mean something to you both. If one ring is already chosen, bring it along so you can see how it looks beside the other.
Can men wear engagement rings on either hand?
In the UK, the traditional place to wear an engagement ring is the fourth finger of the left hand, between your middle and little fingers. The right ring finger is another option if you’d like to keep your left hand free for a future wedding band. If you’re left-handed, you might also find the right hand more comfortable for everyday wear.
If you already wear a signet or another ring, check how the two pieces sit when you close your hand. A signet that you choose as your engagement ring can stay on your little finger if that’s where you like it. If you plan to move your ring to the other hand after the wedding, try it on both hands first. Your ring fingers can be different sizes.
When you wear a ring every day, it helps to have a place for it when you take it off. Follow any jewellery rules at work and take your ring off before activities like lifting weights or doing DIY. A dish or ring box works well at home, and a soft pouch can be handy when you’re away.
You can wear the ring as a pendant on days when you’d prefer to keep your hands bare. Choose a chain that can support the weight of the ring and check that the clasp closes securely. A jeweller can help you see how the ring sits on the chain.
Men’s promise rings, engagement rings and wedding bands
A plain band can mark several milestones. If you’re giving a ring to your partner, talk about what it represents and how you’d like it to be part of your relationship.
If you already wear promise rings, you can decide together to use them as engagement rings when you get engaged. You might tell each other what the rings have meant to you as part of the proposal. If you’d like to keep both pieces, you could wear the promise ring on another finger or save it for special occasions.
Wearing your engagement ring on and after the wedding day
If you’re exchanging a separate wedding band, decide where your engagement ring will go during the ceremony. You can move it to your other hand or keep it in a ring box until the exchange is over. If you want to wear both rings in your photographs, tell the person looking after the rings when you’ll want it back.
After the wedding, you can wear both rings together on the same finger. The wedding band traditionally sits at the base of the finger, with the engagement ring above it. Check where the edges meet, especially if your engagement ring has a raised setting. Bring your engagement rings to try each pair together if you and your partner are choosing matching wedding bands.
While you’re wearing the two rings together, try picking up your phone or slipping your hand into your pocket. Notice how far the two rings come up your finger and how they feel when you bend it. That can help you decide if you’d enjoy wearing them together every day. You can ask the showroom team to check how the rings sit if you’re choosing a band to wear next to your engagement ring.
You can also wear one ring on each hand. This gives each piece its own space and can feel more comfortable if the rings are wide. If you prefer to wear your wedding band on its own most days, you can keep your engagement ring for anniversaries or other occasions you’d like to mark.
Find an engagement ring for him at Fraser Hart
If you’re choosing an engagement ring for him or looking for one of your own, think about how it’ll be worn. Our showroom team can check the fit on the finger you choose and help you see how the ring sits beside any jewellery you already wear. For advice on designs, metals and sizing, see our guide to choosing a men’s engagement ring.